A Fresh Start

As most of you might have already come to notice I have not written in my blog in quite a while, I will tell you why. Since about a week after school started I have been depressed. I never wanted to make a guy my everything but I did and when I started losing his attention I put everything I had into keeping him. This took away my energy to do anything else. I tried so many things just to resolve the issues we had been having. I ignored him to make him miss me and when that didn't work I pretended to be happy and when that didn't work I threatened my life.

Threatening my life really was a stupid idea because you never accomplish anything when lives are on the line. In truth, it only made the end come much faster than I hoped. I called Liam on Sunday and just cried and told him I didn't want to be with anyone else and how much I was going to miss him. That Wednesday Liam broke up with me. Sealed with a kiss (on the cheek).

At first I was upset but instead of crying I laughed, I laughed as loud, hard, and much as I could. For the next two days everything was black and white and I was just barely getting by. I was happy at school because Liam was there and although he had hurt me, I still loved to see him. I smiled at school, I went home and cried. I knew it all had to end.

The day Liam broke up with me a guy I had liked since I had met him, near the beginning of the year, told me he liked me. At first I was a little excited because I did like him also but I was still a little torn up over Liam. As I talked to and hung out with Scott more I liked him even more. He made/makes me happy and I appreciate his concern for my wellness. I have these memories of Liam and the things we used to do, and I can't let them go. Up until a few days ago I had the hope of getting back with Liam, but today I am a new person. Today I am the butterfly coming from the cocoon. Like the lilies of spring I will rise again.

The only negative experience I can think of getting from this is how will I ever learn to be happy and love myself without a guy if the second a guy breaks my heart another one walks into my life.