Unforgiven

I've never felt,
A feeling like this.
Happy and sad,
Depressed and some Bliss.
Every thing is done,
Every thing is said,
And still my minds filled,
With you in my head.

You make me smile,
But you make me cry.
I want to live forever,
I want to lay down and die

I want to be,
Forever with you,
I want to see,
Anyone but you.

Because of you,
I've curled up inside.
Inside of myself,
Is the place that I hide.

Yet to be to myself,
Is all that I want.
I should be thanking you,
Instead of screaming "fuck!"

Curled up in a ball,
crying on the floor.
Screaming "Oh God!"
Slamming my head in the door.

Remembering the times,
The way that you smile.
When in your arms,
I want to stay there for a while.

The Forbidden Fruit

Just to show you how fair the world is, from what I have observed, we seem to often fall in love with the one person we can't have. I believe that there is one person out there in the world for us, one who we are really meant to be with and who is really meant to be with us, but the chances of finding them are 1 in 1,000,000. I also believe that we don't marry the person we love.

Maybe there is something appealing about what you can't have but it just seems that when we do fall in love, we fall in love with what we can't have. With my older sister, she fell in love with a guy who my parents hated. I genuinely believe that they were in love, I wish they had stayed together because they are two people I could see living off love in a little apartment somewhere 10 years from now. I believe he was her soul mate.

The fact that they are not still together makes me question love, everything in the world makes me question love. The fact that I have so much love to give is the only reason I still believe in love. I've had my own experience with love. When I was younger I loved a guy who I could not have, he was completely off limits, which brings me back to the original question; Why do we always fall in love with the one person we can't have?

There is my theory that something we can't have is more appealing but maybe it's a test from God. It's like.. God puts obstacles in the way of you and that person so you can prove your love to them, you have to work to get them and when you have them, if you really love them, it will be like a piece of heaven.

I have my own forbidden fruit. I am Eve, he is my forbidden fruit and just like Eve I have taken a bite from the forbidden fruit. At the moment I'm just waiting to see if I get punished, hopefully I won't. Moral of the story: If there is something blocking your way between you and the person you love, keep working towards them because the more you work the more worth it it will be.