The Joker

People really don't appreciate the life they have been given enough. I'm always complaining because my life isn't good enough for me and someone is always upsetting me. My life is so great compared to some peoples. There are kids out there who don't have it as good as me.
For Liam, I shouldn't complain about him because a lot of people would be lucky to find a relationship like mine and his especially at our age. I do consider myself lucky, I'm just scared. I don't really complain about Liam so much as worry. I know he says that he's never going to leave me and he never will love anyone but me, but I've seen so many hearts break that I guess I'm just waiting in line for my heart to break. What we have now is nice, I like it and I'm not going to try to end it, that's the last thing in the world I want, I just know deep down in my heart we won't be together forever, and it makes me so unhappy, it's not him that makes me unhappy, it's just my fear of being away from him that makes me unhappy. Maybe that's why whenever he is not with me it is near impossible for me to be happy. Not impossible but believe me, rare.
I do trust him, I guess I just don't trust him not to leave me. All I can do is pray that we won't break up and I do, I pray a lot that we won't break up. This feeling is so good I don't want it to ever end. I can't be unhappy when he's there with me, it's the greatest thing I've ever felt. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but as I said I've seen many hearts break.
The reason I believe we won't be together forever is because I don't believe I love him, I want to so badly but, I've never been in love, only liked guys a lot, I like Liam a lot more than I've liked any other guys, I just say I love you to them because I don't know what else to say when they tell me that they love me. I really really like Liam and I believe he loves me because, not to sound self-centered or anything but, I have a lot of guys in love with me.
Maybe Liam should consider himself lucky because honestly I could have a lot of other guys but I picked him, but in the same way I know there's a lot of girls that like Liam, a lot of my friends, and he could have any one of them but he picked me. God I remember when Darienne liked him and she was thinking of acting on it. If she had dated him I would have butchered her, no joke. I would hate her forever, I would hate anyone forever. Unfortunately I hate every girl he's every liked. Okay hate is a strong word, but I want them nowhere near him because obviously he liked them before what's stopping him from liking them again.
That completely contradicts my fear of him leaving me. I'm scared he'll leave me because people change but I'm sitting here scared he's going to start liking a girl he's liked before but PEOPLE CHANGE. Let's just face it: I'm stupid.