Starting Over

As a pre-teen "emo" child starting over was something I needed. I was home schooled, I had lost all my friends from previous schools, and as emo wanna-be as I was, I was a very social person and needed friends to hang out with. During my home schooled epoch, I had a very limited selection of friends. I had, Kade, Nick, Katie, Carrie and Jesse. Kade was and old friend, Nick a new and Katie, Carrie, and Jesse were basically family since I had known them since birth. So in truth, Nick was my only new friend. Katie had been my best friend for the longest time but she lived an 40 minutes away from me and started hanging out with the "druggie" crowd. We grew apart. Those three, while we may not always be as close as we once were, they will always be in my heart. Kade I never hung out with we weren't very close friends and as for Nicholas, well Nick was Nick. He was one person and me being the person I am I needed more then just one friend.

Brianne had been going to Holy Cross for two years already. She never did well with home schooling and therefor, with Holy Cross being the only other option, well we had no choice. Brianne never really fit in with the other kids but she had a few friends and she loved it. So I was sick of no friends and done with home schooling. After 3 years of being home schooled I decided to go to a real school. Now transitioning from 3 years of home schooledness to actual school, well lets just say 3 years of no social life, you just can't come back from that.

So I was labeled "the new girl" or some preferred "the weird girl" I knew one girl there, a girl I never had known that well other than a few conversations together after church, so naturally it was her I clung onto. That is, until I got a message from one of "the popular girls" on myspace. Now to be honest, I did not make the best first impression. In fact, I scared everyone, but soon enough Darienne and I became friends.

I was in, people liked me, even if they were scared of me. One of my best friends, my first memory of her was the first day in Math class and she is sitting right in front of me. She turns around and grabs my TI-83 calculator and starts playing with it and then she turns back around and says "Oh, can I play with this?" I knew then that I hated her I couldn't help but think of what a bitch she was but I smiled and said I didn't mind, I was there to make friends not enemies after all. A bit later in the year while we were getting our gym bags from our home room class, I went up to Meghann, put my hand on her shoulder, looked her in the eye and said "Every gay relationship starts with a hand on the shoulder". She screamed. We became best friends.

So after a bit of pushing and pulling I had what some people might call friends. I didn't have to many friends but I had the guys. The guys weren't afraid of me and I could be my semi-self with them. Liam, ha ha. My first real memory of him I suppose would be the awkward questions in science class. As little as he did talk to me, I was happy just talking to him. He couldn't stand me and my emo self. I was an emo, outgoing, black-loving, hippy. Another fond memory I have of before he liked me was when he was in day care and I was sitting there complaining about my life and myself and he said, something and it just made me laugh. I thought he liked me then because he was apologizing he said "I'm sorry I'm not good at comforting people". By the middle of the year I had my two best friends and the only people I thought I would ever need. Michelle and Meghann.

So to end this year I had my two best friends, I was approaching normal, and that was all I needed.